The Fear of Starting Over

Life has a way of giving us a hard time. A person who wants to move is sometimes made to stay. And a person who likes to stay is made to move. 

I’m the kind of person who looks like I fit it, who laughs along and plays along. It seems like its easy to for me enter a new situation. I smile a lot and I pretend. But deep inside, I’m scared just like anyone else. I get intimidated by new things and most importantly, I never want to leave when I’m settled in. 

Sometimes I wonder if it’s even good for me because beneath it all I’m the person that’s scared to start over. I’m the girl that doesn’t feel like I fit it. For a long time, I found my solace only in poetry or late night tears. It never occured to me that sometimes its okay to not to fit it. Its okay to be scared and confused. I’ve learnt to lean more on faith than myself. I’ve learnt that its always hard. Its always scary. We just need to stand our ground and never compromise on our core beliefs. We just need to find a creative outlet where we we can let it all go. Where we are ourselves because we’re all unique and personally, I think there is no such thing as fitting in really. And the best people are the ones that are okay with that. I hope I’m one of them or atleast I one in the making. All of us should try being like those people-the ones that just don’t care, the ones that are themselves just because they are what they are.

When you do start over in a new place, I say be genuine and have faith! Also, write poetry!

P.S. : I may be advising myself just as well. I’m still scared and I still have to go new places. But all this, going  to new places and meeting new people is worth it in the end. It shapes who we become. It is what it is! 

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